Getting Myself Validated by Watching Amanda Palmer on 'The art of asking'

I'm grateful I've seen this YouTube video again by Amanda Palmer, who used to be struggling artist some time ago. I see a lot of things about myself by simply watching her. I've been an artist here (as a writer of primarily non-fiction materials) in NYC and have been helping myself get the necessary cash flow by doing part-time jobs. And along the way, I've been learning to ask and ask very well. Of course, I reserve the very words 'asking for help' on particular occasions; I've learned that I can ask for something without even saying those words. I know from experience that people I personally know and who know me well and for some time now dread the time when I'm going to ask help from them. Growing up, I didn't really know how to usually ask for something or even help; I've learned to reserve the chance to ask for something that I need or want on certain occasions, especially when I'm on a face-to-face situation with people I seek help from.

Of course, I'm very aware of others out there who look down on the kind of work and business that I do, grow and pursue most relentlessly these days. Most of them think it's beneath their sense of dignity to ask for something. Some even look down on this very act of blogging here as they think it's a very cheap way of doing writing works (some won't even consider bloggers as serious writers). I even notice something similar even from business partners I have in my franchise online business (check this business opportunity with Market America and start doing your shopping on my www.shop.com/jeromebaladad site) and who behave unknowingly as if they're superior over me because they don't really engage very much on asking for something because they're professionals, i.e., people listen to them by virtue of their profession. But they're really being misled by their own narrow minded view of their minuscule personal worlds. In NYC, it makes more sense for me to go out and meet new people, and just learn from the experience as I go along. And given today's level of interconnectedness, it's better to go out and ask for what you need or want from others. Look at this practice more closely and you'll see that I'm not even being risky in my behavior here as I learn in the process. I just define more clearly what I want, tell others about what I want, and take action to ask them about what I want. Most times, I get what I want. And just like Amanda Palmer's describing, the experience is very exhilarating, to say the least.

Nowadays, whenever I ask, I use technology, too, from time to time. Sometimes, it works, sometimes it doesn't. And I continue to learn from each experience of asking for something that I need or want from someone, and I am finding out that each encounter is valuable and important. Yes, Amanda's done a great job of asking for what she needs and wants by basically giving away anything valuable she has on hand, and learning to trust in facing common strangers, i.e., those we particularly don't know, and asking for their help. And from my own experiences, I've learned that I've been able to manage to do very well here in New York City (NYC) even if I don't have a regular job mainly because I've learned to ask very well. I've asked in ways that are not direct, and I've done it in some other ways. The approach in asking depends on the situation and the person I'm facing with now. And gratefully, those I've asked help from have generously shared what they've got. What else can I ask for?

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A "Target Free Friday Night" Visit to the MOMA (Museum of Modert Art)

*An article entitled A visitor's experience at New York City's MOMA that I wrote based on the blog I have here is found somewhere online, together with my other articles on Helium.com. Feel free to peruse or share them as you wish.

Click here for today's schedule at the MOMA.

India Calling (or How I Look at This in My Case....)

read more | digg story Please read first the link to this posting from New York Times.

I've wondered once what would have happened to our family's fortunes if my Mother pursued her application to immigrate here in the USA. She worked here as a nurse somewhere in the Midwest in the mid 1970's (she was even here during the US Bicentennial, I recall). She was told to go back to the Philippines and wait for a work visa for herself and her family, which took her forever. When the notice from the US embassy came, she was in KSA working, and opted to just stay as she considered working in the Middle East to be better in terms of real income, i.e. there's much more in terms of cash savings as there is not much of a lifestyle anyway in KSA, compared with the consumerist lifestyle here in the USA.

Now, we move to my own case, when I decided to pursue my dreams here in the USA in 2006 (I was here in 2003, which trip gave me wide ranging opportunities to have a look at what the US can offer me). Since my arrival, I've decided to pursue the life and options available to that of a "Freelancer." Being an entrepreneur back in the Philippines, and also someone who has led a corporate life (I was a Manager in my area of expertise back in Makati, the Philippines' business center, that is actually in Metro Manila, the national capital region that looks like most of, or even better than the metropolitan cities in SouthEast Asia, with this city having 12 million in population density), I've seen early enough that at my age (being in my 40s), there would be no serious corporate employer who would be hiring me in my own terms, at least part of my terms, even if I got an MBA, I could write, I could speak better English in my own accent than most immigrants here in the US, among other advantages. I actually gave it a try, to get myself hired, but the jobs were just so ridiculously insulting. I've always had to struggle it out against "ethnic stereotyping," (a term I've read in one of my favorite blogsites, whose author gave a perfect term to what I was experiencing) as employers and their representatives are basically disrespectful and doubtful of a foreign looking applicant's background and experience (particularly for someone who's not from here, even if the Philippines used to be a colony of the US, and even if this English language heritage has been brought about by having been colonized by the US in early part of the 20th century-----as if this historical observation has bearing whatsoever on the fate of the citizens of a former colony). Employers here, with certain exceptions with those I've known personally, basically behave harshly and rather mean, it seems to me, to newcomers, to say the least, and they won't even admit that, even if pointed out to them. Just like in most places, they'd always look at you most conveniently according to how you are stereotypically categorized in the back of their minds (this is basically a normal business reaction, would you believe?). I remember, however, a friend's reaction to "stereotyping." You're sure you would have company, as there would be many who would fit the notions found in a stereotype ("at least you have company"). But still, being stereotyped in doing one particular line of work could be a curse at worst cases; it even perpetuates and strengthens existing power and authority structures (that goes against the very grain of experiencing further growth and development especially for those who have special skills and talents very valuable in today's ever changing economy).

But I've continued to learn my lessons, to become better prepared in accomplishing my intentions.

I'd do gigs, for every opportunity that I'd be on the lookout, where I can use my skills, and in activities that would bring out my passions and interests. When one is in his 40s, there is basically no time to spend on doing intrinsically "boring" jobs that are really not meaningful, purposeful to one's existence. This applies as well to jobs that are just being done, but won't get the worker any respect from his / her countrymen. Among other set of attitudes, this particular attitude has carried me through hardships and struggles that continue up to this day, as I have to constantly find meaning and purpose why these events have been happening, why I meet these people here, and why I'm here in NYC. Of course, these are all my decisions, and I'm being responsible for myself.

Just tonight, I've been to my second time of having to celebrate Thanksgiving Day with a group of people who happened to share the lovingly and anxiously prepared dinner with me because I was doing a gig as a caregiver. Last year, I was with my patient and his family to one of his son's friends (I'm unsure of this though), but this year, we were in the house of one of my patient's sons. I've grown to really appreciate and like having this opportunity, among many opportunities, as I've got to observe first hand how Americans ( those who belong to the 2nd, 3rd or higher level of generations of the original immigrants ) celebrate Thanksgiving, with myself being the only foreign born. This is one holiday that reminds me of Christmas season back in the Philippines, as this somehow approximates the collective anxieties of the general population in how to best make use of these precious moments shared with family, loved ones and guests.

Prior to this year's Thanksgiving, I was asked by a visitor of my patient, one Sunday, why there are just about so many people from the Philippines who are dominating this industry of "caregiving" or doing healthcare jobs, i.e. mostly as nurses here in the US. I answered "I don't know." The guest said, who didn't really mean anything malicious by asking me these questions, even expressed her surprised at finding the most capable persons doing "caregiving" jobs, who were lawyers, teachers, and other professionals back in the Philippines. She even asked me, and then guessed nearly correctly what was I doing back in the Philippines prior to settling for good here in the US. But of course, I'm glad that now I'm reading this article about some people here in the USA, whose families were originally from India, are going back and starting to make a life again, a better life in India [despite fresh news lately]. Indians, I've observed, just like other nationalities, here in the US "suffer" ethnic stereotyping themselves. For example, the 2 taxi drivers [who could be doing a gig like myself, with them doing a different nature of work as cab drivers], who brought us to and fro the house where we had Thanksgiving dinner, were themselves Indians [How do I know? I have first hand knowledge about things Indian as I got several relatives married to Indians back in the Philippines]. But Indians, just like in their home country, have got quite a huge number of presence here in the US. Unlike the country where I originally come from.

However, I personally doubt if I'd like to go back soon. Back in the Philippines, when I was still doing HR work that called for me to do recruitment work, I would encounter a lot of applicants who have decided to go back and stay for good in the Philippines after they have spent several years here in the US. I did HR work for over 20 years, and I've seen a lot of these cases. That somehow pointed out the pointlessness of pursuing a life in the US, as these applicants are actually proofs that the US is far from being the land of milk and honey (so to say).

But I still believe, and have found out to myself that indeed, the US is the "land of the free, home of the brave," despite really rough problems cropping out lately. I've seen strong evidences, despite contradictions. One development was the recent election of Obama, being African-American, as President. I'd certainly won't see this happening in most countries, that have mixed make up of population. My attendance to Thanksgiving dinners among regular Americans, who are actually not among regular types, as most of them are based in NYC (which many consider to be the most diverse city in the US), has shown me, and afforded me to consider my faith in pursuing my notions on egalitarianism. I've seen this in Japan as well, but Japan is really a homogenous society, unlike the US which behaves more like heterogenous in its societal makeup. This makes people believe that good and services have to be made available at affordable prices or costs to the majority of the people, and not only to those who have access to money and power. I've yet to say this to the Philippines. I've yet to see this happening as well to most countries in the world.

The Virtue of Being a Freelancer Now

Earlier, I was happy giving coaching tips to one caller who I got to know from another friend here in New York City. This caller likes to move from Los Angeles to the East Coast, and has been studying the idea of doing massages as one of his sources of income when he moves here. I told him about the travails of doing freelance work, which concept is alien to most people who have been employed on a full time basis, and working for a company, or doing work to eke out a living. I'm far from having a stable source of income by being a Freelancer; it can get scary at times. I'm grateful to have been given positive feedback by at least 25 people in my network who are always in touch with me, and have thought positively of how I go about doing Freelance work. Some of them have referred me to some of their contacts to talk with me about how I go about doing Freelance work, and its quirky details. Some have thought a way to do it, and have started their own version. I've always wished them all the best, God willing. I share what I can share, based on my own experiences, have gathered from my constant readings, and have heard from others doing this same direction.

As my profile indicates, and what some of my postings have mentioned from time to time, I've been doing freelance work, doing mostly part time jobs, and focusing my energies on pursuing my interests and passions. Among my freelance jobs, I've done massages for both men and women (some, even well meaning friends at that, have amusing mistaken ideas about someone who does massages for a living, and on part time basis at that, but I'm not blaming them though!); caregiving tasks, housecleaning, doing volunteer work for an art gallery, doing volunteer work for the pioneering Project Gutenberg e-book site, doing helper jobs for an Interior Designer, Floral and Events Designers, and other Business Owners, teaching Tagalog to interested students, plus doing other tasks that may interest me. Many have tried this direction before, way way before industrialization has taken place, and even way before the onset of globalization and its ill effects (i.e. terrorism, drug trafficking, illegal immigration, white slavery, etc) have been felt by the world's economies. Even St. Joseph himself was a Freelancer, being a Carpenter, which trade became handy as he went about bringing the Holy Family from Bethlehem to Egypt, and back to Nazareth. And I've noted with keen interest how St. Paul himself was a Freelancer, as a Tent Maker, while he was taking action on God's purposes for him to spread the Gospel to the Gentiles in Asia Minor.

I've done Human Resources (HR) work for over 20 years back in the Philippines. This period of exposure to interesting aspects of the nature of HR work (Among other feedback, I've always been told by those who have become involved in "Recruitment," which is an area under HR work, to have found it fascinating as one gets a bird's eye view on how one acquires a job, and how an organization hires a prospective employee) has offered me opportunities to become a Manager, one way or another, as I took lead of processes and people to work on desired outcomes of the Management. In the duration of my work, I have found out from observing trends and developments that the nature of employment has gone a lot of changes in a matter of time when I was actively employed in the corporate world. I've seen how jobs have become badly commoditized by organizations working out all creative means and ways to compete in the market. Technology, as always, has played a lot of role as to why the nature of jobs became more impersonal. The flow of capital, and the interaction of market forces have also played a very large role why values of most jobs have free falling momentum, up and down. The end consumer, the end user of products and services has been linked more face-to-face with the producers (via the internet, mainly), and many layers in between in the process of production have been removed. This impacts on what jobs have to be kept and maintained in an organization. For example, a nurse practitioner now, among other things, is basically doing tasks that are "secretarial" in nature, (ask a nurse practitioner about the volume of paperwork they handle nowadays), if you look closely at those tasks. Why is that? Primarily because Doctors shun away from doing those tasks, and they're focused on making sure they'll keep away from legal complications arising from how medical treatments these days are done. And this in turn, makes it reasonable to have nurse assistants who are actually doing tasks that used to be done by nurse practitioners before. And this happens because the Doctor has become more accessible to the patient and his family, who may just do work on information gathering about the disease by texting, calling, emailing, and other possible ways other than just talking with the Doctor during the usual medical rounds.

And we're not yet talking of disparities of income paid to jobs here (that's reserved for another posting). Suddenly, labor laws become sullied and ignored, as jobs durations have been given timed contracts that are renewed hastily and at the whims of those in management. It has become just so tough keeping jobs (both for Management, and the Employee). Even those in organizations like government offices have become so familiar to these developments. People in management have found it more profitable in the short term to farm out jobs to companies based abroad. This phenomenon continues to cost a lot of untold and unwritten anxieties to those who have lost their seemingly stable jobs to competitors outside of national boundaries. The jargon that you need to take note and memorize has been enlarged by all these developments. Jobs are out-sourced, being farmed out to third party providers. Lately, I've observed that companies in India that have earned a better reputation on acquiring farmed-out jobs from those in the First World, have been exploring the competitiveness and profit margins by investing and putting up companies as they farm out their projects as well to companies in the Philippines. I just wonder up to what point this maddening subcontracting approach to employment will go. It's been leveraging on operations, and finances, as what may deemed fit, as dictated by the market. Jobs have become so cheap, without even considering the person behind the job. I've decided this will continue as long as I'm employed. I made a move, and have since then have not come back. I've learned from those who came ahead of me.

Now, I'm happier I've moved on, and have taken steps to be in lead by doing Freelance work. This can be disconcerting actually to most people. But I keep on going. I go about looking for prospective jobs and gigs online. My favorite site happens to be Craigslist, which has been very generous in sharing its resources to the community where it has a presence (it has worldwide presence via local communities where users have been known to explore what the online world can provide to meet their various needs). It's not the fault of management or even those who make decisions for you to be anxious if you'll still keep your job from now. It's just the very nature of jobs nowadays. We're not going to have employers pay for benefits, or even reasonable pay, anymore. It's not really their role anymore, as they'll be gone soon, even before your know it. It's become so unstable for everyone, all of a sudden. This could be due to some unknown forces that we have yet to identify, or recognized. Happenings have been taking place much faster, on a rate that's just more noticeably past even before you notice that moment. But keep on holding to yourself, on your thoughts, on your vision, on your dreams, on your goals, as any one of these areas can only be the area where you'll still be in the moment, and be much in control.