Loving Myself Wholeheartedly, Fully, Deeply, Wonderfully

I've just read Bo Sanchez' write up on "loving myself to the fullest, and letting and trusting God to love me"------[ ].....the whole article blew me away. I've tried accessing the link before but I've failed, but for one reason or another, I got in this time. It must have been the laptop, or the other sites that were opened that time.

I cried again on the story about that teacher who made her students list down all the good things about their classmates, and who have since then, kept the listings as personal mementos to remind them of the goodness in them. One of the students, now a soldier who recently died, kept his listing in his pocket wallet. One by one, all the other students who were around during the funeral admitted having kept and valued their mementos of those "good" listing. I've read similar concepts before...I've even heard Oprah Winfrey sermons about it from time to time, in various intonations, with complete visual effects, on her shows. She's even wrote down her preachings about these lessons on loving oneself, before anything good may ever happen.

Yes, I gotta love myself continuously. I gotta always forgive myself for all the mistakes I've made. I gotta give myself space to grow as the person God has been showing, directing me. I remember having told someone about it while we were covering something like an impending death of a dear, loved one who's now badly sick. I could not help but cry.

I gotta love myself more, unconditionally. I gotta set up boundaries, just as to keep away from those things, certain people who unknowingly drain away my abilities to love myself wholeheartedly. I gotta pray as well for St Judas Iscariot who failed to love himself fully, & forgive himself, and went on to commit suicide upon learning the gravity of having been the traitor that eventually led to having Jesus Christ wrongly judged and crucified, in the view of the powers that be in that tumultuous period in Christian history. Peter himself denied Jesus 3 times, and he almost never got over it. But he forgave himself, by the grace of God, and went on to spread the gospel, and even got to be considered as the 1st Pope of the Roman Catholic Church. I gotta be able to experience all the time God's loving presence in me.

first attempt

in this cyber cafe now at 22:44 Sunday prior to my decision to sleep to prepare myself for a full week of work tomorrow, i'm working on this blog. i'm doing this amidst the collective, deadening, gleeful noise of hi-strung youthful looking players who use most of the PCs in this cafe. it's as if they want to show everyone else to the door out of this cafe. well, they will need to wait until i'm done with this, or until i'm dead sleepy. apparently, they're among our youthful looking people who prefer to spend nights playing online PC games, fresh from their work in one of those 24/7 business process outsourcing companies here, rather than go straigth home, take good rest, dream details about tomorrow, or worse, do drugs. all this info, i've collected without actively listening, and being focused on this first attempt to do blogging. I also have been viewing other adult-oriented sites through other windows on this PC.

i look forward to meeting and getting to know some other bloggers out there who may get interested exchanging notes with someone from the Philippines, specifically Makati City (known as the prime business center in this country). this country becomes more interesting if taken in the context of sustained failures of its elite leaders to progressively lead this country into full development, given high rates of poverty. All this in an environment full of excitement, fiesta-like atmosphere, youthfulness spread all over.

for this blogging endeavor, i plan to share some write-ups which I've kept in my bookshelves to targetted readers of new literature. I'm pretty excited to gain initial feedback from these interested readers. i'm talking about my desire to re-visit my past when i used to do cruising amidst the century old walls of Intramuros (the Hispanic Manila, actually). some days i get to be haunted by this past, yet gradually i've learned to make great use of these experiences in gaining confidence, and knowing myself better. why not just get in touch with my kind? well, i've nothing much to gain, except if i deal with others not of my kind. i need fresh feedback, and honest, great inputs.